I still love you
by ktho98
Summary: This will not be only one single story, but more little stories about Obi-Wan and Siri during the movies and books. In my opinion Obi-Wan and Siri are not focused enough in the books and that's why I decided to write this stories. Hope you like it too
1. Chapter 1

Hey guys! This is a short story about Obi-Wan feelings after the council meeting with Qui-Gon and Anakin. This idea came to my mind as I watched the first episode and I hope you'll like it!

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He walked through the halls of the jedi temple, on the direct way to the Room of a Thousand Fountains. His eyes were clouded and his steps were slow and heavy. As he reached the entry to the Room of a Thousand Fountains he stopped walking. His eyes wandered through the room and his ears listened to the soft sound of the waterfalls. His feet moved by themselves as Obi-Wan walked to a single fountain and sat down on the ground. He lifted his hand to the fountain and touched the water. The coldness was refreshing and gave him the certainty that he was alive. He layed his other arm on the edge of the fountain and rested his head on it. He closed his eyes and tried to hold back the tears.

He couldn't believe it! His own master - the man he loved since he was 13 - this man wanted him to take the trials so he could train the Chosen One.

Anakin Skywalker. A little boy in the age of 10 and a passion for pod racing, who was found by Qui-Gon on Tattooine and brought here, because his master was convinced that he is the Chosen One. The One, who would bring balance to the galaxy.

Obi wan was not convinced about that and the Council agreed with him. They forbid Qui-Gon to train the boy, but he knew his master. He would not give up, if he had an aim.

This is unfair, thought Obi-Wan. He was Qui-Gons responsibility for twelve years now and it was a fight for young obi wan to get Qui-Gone attention. Everytime he had to prove his fighting skills and his abilities with the force. Qui-Gon was a strict but also a soft teacher. He was like a father to Obi-Wan and now he could loose the only father he ever known. Was he not good enough for him? Why would Qui-Gon prefer a young boy, who was too old to be trained? He had no answer to these questions.

After the council meeting, he disappeared from his master and the boy and went to this place. It was a place of piece and he spent a lot of time in his youth at this place. Usually with his best friend Bant or Garen or Siri. But his friends were on their missions and didn't know that he was here in this room.

A single tear slided down his cheek and Obi-Wan used his hand to wiped it away.

"Obi-Wan?" asked a soft voice behind him.

Obi-Wan closed his eyes in embarrassing and happiness. He knew this voice and he knew the person, who belongs to this voice. But he could not turn around. It was not the way of a jedi to sit there and cry. He waited. A part of his mind hoped that the person would go away and a small part of his mind hoped that the person would stay with him.

He heard footsteps that came closer and felt a soft hand on his shoulder. Now he lifted his head and turned around.

He looked in the beautiful eyes of the only person in the galaxy, he missed the most the last years. He saw this person at last three years ago in the jedi temple before his long mission.

Her blond hair was grown longer, over her shoulders. She wear the traditional jedi robe and her belt with her lightsaber.

"Why are you crying?", she asked and sat down next to him. She looked concerned.

"It's nothing, Siri..."

"Don't lie to me. You always say that: Everything is fine... But it's not. I see that you cried before I arrived. Obi-Wan you can trust me!"

" I trust you" said Obi-Wan and looked in her eyes. " I trust you with my life and you know that."

" And why can't you trust me now?" she asked.

He took a deep breath and lowered his eyes.

" We had a council meeting..."

" And the council was pissed at Qui-Gon again?", she interrupted. "Or did you something bad?"

She grinned evil. She was teasing him.

" No, I did nothing wrong. It was only Qui-Gon..." he stopped and thought about this situation in the council chamber.

" What happened? " asked Siri and took his hand between hers.

"Qui-Gon found this ten year old boy on Tattoine and offered the council to train him." replied Obi-Wan.

"What?" shouted Siri, her eyes showed her misunderstanding. "Even if he wouldn't be to old to be trained... Why would Qui-Gon choose another padawan without speaking with you about that?"

" He believe that Anakin is the Chosen One!"

" The Chosen One?!"

Obi-Wan nodded.

" This person, who should bring balance to the galaxy if the Sith would return? "

Obi-Wan nodded again.

Siri groaned and slided closer to him. " You know your master, Obi-Wan. Qui-Gon had new ideas every day since he was born, I believe."

" But I love him, Siri... He is like a father to me. And I don't want to loose a person I love...", he looked in her eyes and saw tears on her cheeks. " Not again. Not like I lost you"

" You didn't loose me, Obi-Wan" answered Siri and looked away.

" I lost you right on the day Qui-Gon forbid me to love you. We wanted to be good friends but we didn't talk much in the last years. I thought about you every day. I still love you... "

With these words she met his gaze surprised. " I still love you too... But we can't leave the jedi. "

" And why? " asked Obi-Wan.

" I promise you that I would if I could. But we belongs to the jedi. If Qui-Gon releases you, you would take your trails and become a jedi knight. And in some years I will follow you and we can go on missions together. We're maybe not together but we'll work together. "

" Do you think I'll become a good jedi knight? "

" Of course I do" she said seriously. " You will be a great jedi. Better than Qui-Gon or many others. Better than Anakin." she smiled at him. " I believe in you"

He pulled her in a tight embrace. " Thank you" he whispered in her ear.

She hugged him back and stroked his back.

" I can't say what will be in the future. But I still love you and I always will. And for that reason I want you to be happy. We could see us every week if you want. You' ll have no master anymore"

" And I promise you that I will ever love you. But you're right. We belong to the jedi. Now it's time that I get my own padawan."

Siri laughed. " Haha, this poor child"

He punshed her softly. "Don't say that again."

" I was kidding" she said happily. " I have to go back to my master, Obi-Wan. If I could give you an advice: Go back to Qui-Gon too and talk with him about your feelings. Don't stay here alone. He will understand."

" I thank you so much", Obi-Wan answered. " You were here when I needed you."

" And I'll always be." she leaned forward and gave him a soft kiss on his cheek. After that she stood up, gave him a last smile and left him alone. Obi-Wan smiled about this situation. Siri gave him new courage.

He would follow the way of the jedi and he would talk with Qui-Gon. He would not loose his master like he lost Siri years ago.. .not with tears in his eyes and angry feelings. He stood up and walked back to the Room of his master. He stopped before the door and knocked.

A confused Qui-Gon opened the door. " Obi-Wan? What's wrong? Did you cry? "

" May I come in?" asked Obi-Wan.

" Of course" said Qui-Gon, layed an arm around his apprentice' shoulders and led him into his room. Obi-Wan was happy now, everything would be good.

Some meters away behind a wall stood Siri and smiled on this scenery. She saw the way Qui-Gon opened the door and looked on his student. She was convinced that everything would be OK. They both deserved it to be loved by each other. If Siri couldn't give this love to Obi-Wan, it was Qui-Gons matter to do so. Siri smiled and thought about old times with Obi-Wan. With that feeling she left the hall and went into her room to prepare for her next mission.


	2. Chapter 2

Now comes a second chapter, which plays right after Qui-Gon's dead but before his funeral. A next little scene between Obi-Wan and Siri. In my opinion this paring isn't focussed enough in the books and also in fanfictions, so I decided to continue this. A big thank you to the review of Jedi Obi Wan Kenobi, who convinced me too to continue this story. I will add new chapters in the future about little scenes between Siri and Obi-Wan during the books and the movies. Maybe it's not always in timeline. I hope you'll enjoy it :)

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Obi-Wan and Anakin went out of the Palace of Theed. Anakin was enthusiastic like every day but something filled him with hesitation. Obi-Wan lowered his head, grabbed Anakins shoulder and led him out of the Palace. His gaze was emotionless and he had no more sparkle in his eyes.

A big ship landed infront of the Palace, what meaned that the Jedi Council was arrived. But not only the Jedi Council, also other Jedis were coming to visit the event tomorrow. And also the funeral of his master.

Obi-Wan pushed Anakin softly through a big group of people. Queen Amidala, Captain Panaka and Jar Jar were standing at the front. Padme Amidala gave Obi-Wan an encouraging smile, which he could not return. He pushed Anakin between himself and Padme and waited for the Jedi Council.

The ships door opened with loud noises and the new Chancellor Palpatine himself left the ship with his guard. Behind him followed Mace Windu and Master Yoda, passed the Chancellor and the Queen and went right to Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan bowed low and made Anakin understand to follow his example.

Mace Windu met his gaze, but not with his usually cold eyes. There was something comfortable in his gaze. A kind of compassion.

„ A hard time for you this is, Obi-Wan" said Master Yoda and Obi-Wan looked down at the little,but powerful Jedi-Master. He leaned against his walking stick and watched Anakin thoughtfully. Obi-Wan knew what he was thinking. Obi-Wan asked him for a conversation alone about the boy.

„ Can you lead us to your master, Obi-Wan?" asked Master Windu.

„ Anakin, please stay with Padme and Jar Jar", said Obi-Wan calmly to the boy. „ I'll see you later."

Anakin nodded and walked over to the Queen. Obi-Wan looked after him, but turned around quickly and led the Jedis to the Palace.

„ The funeral will be tonight" continued Master Windu. „ We'll leave Naboo during the next days."

„ I understand, Master" replied Obi-Wan, when they arrived at the entrance. „ Captain Panaka will show you his chambers. I'll stay outside."

Mace Windu layed his hand on Obi-Wans shoulder and passed him without any word. The other Jedis followed him.

All except one. Obi-Wan watched one Jedi carefully, who's presence he had felt since the ship's landing. This was the first person he saw in the background when the ships door had opened.

Master Adi Gallia gave Obi-Wan a soft look and let her padawan behind.

The entrance closed and it was silent, except the people on the market.

Siri walked over to Obi-Wan and the shadows of the Palace hide them, when they hugged each other tightly. Obi-Wan rested his chin on top of her head and closed his eyes. He could feel the tears straining down his cheeks. He cried silently and Siri didn't say a word. She held him tight and caressed his back reassuringly.

After some minutes Obi-Wan grabbed her shoulders to see her face. Her eyes were calmly but full with compassion for Obi-Wan. She lifted her hand and wiped Obi-Wans tears away.

„ It's okay to cry, Obi-Wan", she whispered. „ You lost your master. No one can imagine your feelings."

„ It feels like time stands still. I'm breathing but I'm moveless. Everyone say that he's dead but I can't believe it. Everytime I think he may come through the door from sleeping or meditating. But I'm alone. Everyday I'm alone. He'll never come back."

She took Obi-Wans hands and hold them between hers. „ Your never alone, Obi-Wan", she said and watched him deeply. „ When everything is leaving you...I'm still here with you. I'll help you during this time and you'll learn to live with that. It's a sad time but you must not go through this alone."

„ Thank you, Siri" murmured Obi-Wan. „ This means everything to me."

„ May we walk sime meters" said Siri, but didn't wait for his answer.

She grabbed his hand and walked with him to the gardens.

„ Tell me how he died", she asked him.

Obi-Wan took a deep breath. „ He was killed by a Sith. And I couldn't do anything against it. I was stuck behind a wall and had to watch how he was killed. The lightsaber was pushed through his stomach. I'll never forget the surprised look on his face. Seconds later, his weak body felt to the ground and I faced the Sith alone."

„ You fought him alone?", replied Siri surprised. „ The Council didn't say a word about it. This means you need no trials anymore."

„ Easy Siri! I must speak with Yoda about it."

„ What do you have to speak about it?" asked Siri confused. „ You're the first Jedi for thousand years, who defeated a Sith!"

„ I know that" answered Obi-Wan. „ But this shouldn't be the price for Qui-Gon's life!"

„ It isn't! It's your new opportunity for a future life. Your time without Qui-Gon at your side. Your time as a Jedi-Knight."

Obi-Wan sat down on a park bench. Siri stayed close to him and waited for him to response.

„ I held him, when he died" whispered Obi-Wan and he felt new tears in his eyes. He blinked them away.

„ What did he say to you?"

„ That I should train the boy." He turned his head to met Siris gaze. „ I'll talk with Yoda, become a Jedi-Knight and take Anakin as my Apprentice."

„ I'm convinced that you'll handle this, but maybe you're to young to be a Master."

„ It was Qui-Gon's last wish" said Obi-Wan. „ I have to do it. For him!"

Siri layed her head on his shoulder. „ Then I support you with this."

Obi-Wan grabbed her hand. „ I'm glad to hear that!"

„ And no matter what you're thinking", Siri continued seriously. „ You're not alone. Qui-Gon is still with you. He lives in you and lead you. You have me and now you have Anakin too."

„ I know" said Obi-Wan and smiled. „ He is my first responsibility." He looked at her. „ Right after you!"

„ But only in our hearts" laughed Siri and hit his arm teasingly. „ I'm still with you. But now we have to go back before my Master starts to worry where I am."

Obi-Wan laughed and followed her through the garden.

Next day:

The festival on Naboo was amazing. Everyone was happy and all looked forward to a better future.

Boss Nass and Queen Amidala shared some words and declaired the new peace between their worlds.

Obi-Wan layed a hand on Anakins shoulder and gave him a smile. His pain wasn't gone and he would always be with him, but Siri helped him to speak about it.

Now he saw his new task and his new responsibility. He would train the boy as best as he could. He was able to do it. Because he was not alone.

He turned around and returned Siris bright smile. She was his sun during the rain.

With her he could move forward.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter three plays at the beginning of the second movie, before the conversation between Obi-Wan, Anakin and Padme, but after the meeting between the Jedi Council and Cancellor Palpatine.

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When he arrived the Jedi Temple, he took a deep breath. This place was his home since he was a little baby and he was too long seperated from here. He was glad to see his old room and his old friends, he dind't saw for many years.

 _I enjoyed the time on every mission_ , thought Obi-Wan, when he entered the front hall. _But there must be an ending. I need a break. It was a hard time on the last mission with Anakin._

Obi-Wan sighed. His Padawan was now 20 years old. Ten years passed since The Battle from Naboo and the death of his Master Qui-Gon. He had accepted every mission that follow to distract himself from his thoughts. There was no time alone and no break for him. Anakin grew to a young man and Obi-Wan was really proud of him, but he sensed that this was not the kind of relationsship, he had with his former Master. He also Knew that he couldn't have the same relationsship with Anakin, because the boy was different as his old Master, but he wished that he could feel the same love for him. His respect and his feelings for Anakin started growing same weeks after the first mission together. Anakin was a friendly boy and willing to learn, but every year he grew older, he changed more.

„ Master", Obi-Wan heard a voice calling from him, he heard the last ten years every day. When he turned around he saw Anakin Skywalker walking to him.

„ What's the matter, Anakin?" asked Obi-Wan and tried to sound clear. Anakin shouldn't know that he was in thought some seconds before. He would only worry about that and these thoughts weren't his Padawans problems.

„ Can I go into my room, Master", his Padawan continued nervous. Normally, he wasn't that kind of shy during a conversation. Anakin was quick-witted person, who ever spoke about his feelings. „ I want to take a rest before we meet Senator Amidala."

Obi-Wan nodded understandingly. „ We'll meet here in half an hour, my young padawan."

Anakin nodded thankful and left his Master. He went right to his chamber. Obi-Wan followed his way to his own chamber, but he took his time during the walk. He enjoyed the Jedi Temple too much.

„ Is that the legendary Jedi-Master Obi-Wan Kenobi, of whom is spoken in highest tones by Master Yoda?" asked a teasing voice behind him.

He smiled and turned around. „ You're polite like nobody else, Siri Tachi!"

„ Only to you" she said and walked over to him. Obi-Wan opened his arms and wrapped them around the small body of the girl. But his friend wasn't no more a little girl. She was a young woman now. Her blonde hair was longer and she was only one head smaller than himself. She looked wiser now. She was also a Jedi-Master after all he heard during his missions. The last time he saw here was on a mission with his padawan. But they couldn't talk during this mission and they rarely saw each other, because of the presence of two other Jedi-Masters and their apprentices.

„ How long I haven't talked to you, my dear friend?" asked Siri and walked near Obi-Wan through the corridor.

„ Exactly ten years" answered Obi-Wan. „ You changed a lot since that day. You look wiser and more experienced. Also more beautiful, despite this is not possible."

„ Obi-Wan Kenobi, you're charming since the first day we met", she teased him.

„ You hated me the first day we met!"

„ That was a joke, Obi-Wan", she replied and hit him on the shoulder. „ I see, your're hair is longer!"

„ Soon it will be longer than yours", Obi-Wan laughed.

„ Please no" giggled Siri. „ You look like a Wookie anyway. Don't make it even worse."

„ Allright, allright. I'll cut them after a year!"

„ You don't have to cut it for me, but I still tell you my opinion about it and I think it doesn't look very presentable."

„ You convinced me" answered Obi-Wan. When both reached his chamber, he opened the door and let Siri pass. In his room was only a bed, some equipment for studying and his wardrobe. Jedi were forbidden to own personal stuff.

„ Tell me something about the last ten years with your new padawan!" continued Siri and sat down on a chair.

„ They were good at all, but also hard. Anakin was not an easy Padawan and still isn't."

„ At Qui-Gon's funeral you were afraid about this time. You thought that you couldn't train Anakin that way Qui-Gon trained you" said Siri and looked at him.

Obi-Wan sat down on the bed. „ But now I understand that I must not be Qui-Gon to train Anakin. I'm Anakins Master and not Qui-Gon. He was doing good during the last years, but every day he learned more and every skill he improved turned him from the sweet little boy to an arrogant young man. I believe that he is trying to reach his aims too fast and that he pushes himself to hard. I tried to stop his urge, but he was angry at me that I would hesitate and that I wouldn't see his potential..."

„ That sounds like a naive young man, who wasn't trained in Jedi ways since he was born" replied Siri thoughtful. „ Your duty is more important and more exhausting, because you're Apprentice came from another planet and not from the Jedi Temple. He was given to you by your Master and you couldn't regret him. You had no choice, Obi-Wan!"

„ I know, but that isn't the point!" yelled Obi-Wan more at himself than at Siri. „ I'm sorry. I had no break during the last years. I'm a bit overwhelmed at the situation. I know that now is the point where I must lead him the right way and I know that I can do that!"

„ I also convinced that you're able to do that" said Siri. „ You're older now and you know you're Padawan better than anyone else!"

„ I know that, thank you" teased Obi-Wan her and grinned. „ I need to sleep one night alone without him to get new energy for the next years with him."

„ You did a great job the last years. Now it is his choice what he wants to do with your intructions!"

„ And you?" asked Obi-wan and leaned against the window. „ What's with your Padawan?"

Siri sighed. „ Ferus is like Anakin. Young and impetuous. I try my best with him!"

„ I believe that you're doing so. Ferus doesn't like Anakin at all, because they have the same character. Ferus will be a great Jedi-Knight like Anakin will be. We'll handle this!"

„ I handled it all years without you and you're advice, but if I ever have a problem with him I'll ask you!"

„ Same with me!", Obi-Wan answered. „ Tomorrow, we'll meet Senator Amidala!"

„ The former Queen of Naboo?" asked Siri confused. „ What's the matter with her?"

„ She was attacked on the landing platform on Coruscant" told Obi-Wan. „ Our instruction is to protect her since the moment the Jedi Council know the assassin."

„ I have to go on a short mission with Ferus, but I will be back soon. You're assignment takes place on Coruscant. Maybe I see you after my mission."

„ I would be glad, if I could see you again." He walked over to her and took her into a tight embrace. „ I wish you good luck on your mission!"

„ I wish you good luck with your padawan and the senator!"

Siri released him and gave him a last smile. „ Good night, my dear Obi-Wan!"

„ Good night!"

The door closed and Obi-Wan was alone in the silence of his room. He changed his clothes and layed down on his bed and thought about the last minutes with a smile an his face. Tomorrow would be a new day with a new mission.


	4. Chapter 4

This scene takes place some years before episode one. It is right after that moment, when Obi-Wand and Siri decided to ignore their love for each other. In the book they were 16 or 17 years old, but I don't know it correctly.

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He felt the tears on his cheeks, when he stared in front of him. Some seconds before, a young woman stood before him. A beautiful young woman he loved, but it was forbidden to love somebody. That's the reason why he was alone now. He stood there in the silence of the Room of the Thousand Fountains and thought about the last days.

Some days ago, he believed that everything would be fine. He was the luckiest boy of the galaxy, because of Siri. He couldn't even say when he realized his feelings for her and it was uninteresting for him, because she loved him too. On the last mission with their master, they were seperated and alone in a space ship, which was expected to explode. They confessed their love for each other and decided to stay together...they hadn't thought about the consequences of their decisions.

He couldn't say how, but his Master Qui-Gon Jinn recognized his feelings for her, because of his changed behavior. After the mission, he talked to Obi-Wan about his feelings. He also told him about his love to Tahl, another Jedi-Master, who died. He was the only person in the Jedi Temple, who understood Obi-Wan, but he didn't agreed with him. And that is what Obi-Wan couldn't understand. The conversation with Yoda followed right after the talk with Qui-Gon. Yoda was understanding, but he wouldn't change the rules just for Obi-Wan. Qui-Gon was so kind and gave him a moment to think about it, but appealed to his mind. Obi-Wan knew what would have followed after they had left the Jedi. Obi-Wan would regret his decision and his love to Siri would suffer from it.

He talked to Siri about this topic. Siri reacted, how he expected it. She was really sad about it, but realized that he was right. But she couldn't face him anymore. The crack in her heart was to deep. Obi-Wan wanted to touch her a last time, to feel her soft skin and hear her soothing voice. But when he reached after her, she ran away.

Now he stood alone in this room. He couldn't move a muscle and he didn't care, if anybody would find him in this situation: Crying and unmotivated. He didn't care about any soul in this temple, instead of Siri.

That was the moment, he realized that he didn't wanted to be alone. But he also didn't wanted to ask his Master for comfort. Qui-Gon dealed with other problems of his own and couldn't think about his student. Obi-Wan shook the head. He cried after his love, who was still alive and didn't thought about his Master, whos love died some weeks ago. The pain in his heart rose faster and he had to sat down on the ground. His legs couldn't stand anymore. He realized that he missed his former life. He missed his Master Qui-Gon, who was there for him and he missed Thal. She was like a mother for him and had helped him, when Qui-Gon wasn't able to do it.

But he missed Siri the most. She was different than his other friends. She was friendly, but always said shared his opinion with him. Not on a friendly way...with a strict tone that showed that Siri knew what she wanted. She was a strong, brave woman and Obi-Wan was attracted to her. He always thought that he hated her, but he didn't. Most of the time he admired her.

She was the first person, he loved that way. And he was sure that he wouldn't love another woman the same way.

He closed his eyes. His friends couldn't help him through this hard time. They wouldn't understand his feelings. Bant would listen to him, but would clarify that this was the right way and this wasn't exactly what Obi-Wan wanted to hear now. Garen would say that Obi-Wan couldn't say what love is and that it was just a phase in his life. Siri was the last person, he could talk to. She said that they would stay friends, but he couldn't believe it. Siri was so downcast that she would avoid him the next weeks. H e knew that why he knew her. The only comfort for him was the fact that her Master Adi Gallia had accepted a mission and they needed to left Coruscant within the next days.

Obi-Wan opened his eyes and realized that he still sat on the ground. He stood up carefully. His legs trembled, but he could move. He walked slowly out of this room to his quarters. He ignored the confused gazes of the other students. He was glad that he couldn't see a Jedi-Master, because they would ask him what happened instead of the students. He also didn't saw one of his friends and was happy about that. The last meters he started to run. When he reached the door, he opened it and rushed into his room. He couldn't stop his tears from falling and let himself fall onto the bed. He layed down on his stomach and hidden his head between his arms. Then he started to cry and he didn't try to stop it. He ignored the sounds, which came out of his mouth and he ignored the awkward feeling of crying.

He hadn't cried very often in his former years. Maybe when Bruck teased him, but this stopped many years ago.

He felt terrible and he wished that this feeling would stop. This uncomfortable pressure on his chest and the fog in his mind. The crying didn't help to stop this, but he felt better, when he could let it out.

After some minutes he stopped screaming. The energy to do this had left him. All he could do was breathing and waiting until his tears would disappear. Right at that moment he felt a familiar presence around him. Then he heard a knock on the door.

„ Obi-Wan?"

It was his Master Qui-Gon. He must felt Obi-Wans feelings through their bond. Now he stood in front of his door and waited for Obi-Wan to let him in. Obi-Wan knew that Qui-Gon could manipulate the door with the will of the force, but his master accepted his privacy and understood it when Obi-Wan wanted to be alone. But in that moment, he felt that Obi-Wan didn't wanted to be alone. Until now, Obi-Wan didn't realized it, but he needed his Master now. Qui-Gon was the only peron, who understood him. Both lost the person they loved, both felt the same pain and his master could help him to live with it.

„ May I come in?" asked Qui-Gon again. His voice sounded calmly and he felt comforting waves through the force. Obi-Wan wipped his tears away and sat up on his bed.

„ The door is open", he replied, but his voice sounded broken. He wasn't sure if Qui-Gon understood him, but when the door opened and his master came in, Obi-Wan relaxed. He must look terrible with red eyes, pale skin and tears all over his face.

„ I know how you're feeling, Obi-Wan" said Qui-Gon and walked over to the bed. He sat down next to Obi-Wan and watched him. Obi-Wan didn't met the gaze of his master and continued looking forward.

Qui-Gon layed a hand on his shoulder. „ The pain will never disappear, but you can learn to live with it."

Obi-Wan noded paralysed. This was not the kind of conversation he needed.

„ I know that you don't want to hear this" continued Qui-Gon. „ But you need to know this. You loved Siri and you will always love her. Like I will always love Thal...But this is not the way of a Jedi."

„ This is unfair" murmured Obi-Wan and surpressed a sob.

„ I didn't say that this isn't unfair. I totally agree with you, but this is the way we had chosen for our whole life. I know you better than anyone else and I know that you would regret your decision, when you would leave the Jedi."

Obi-Wan turned his head and looked in his master's eyes.

„ When you stay here" replied Qui-Gon. „ you're able to see her more often than usual. You're still a Jedi and live with Siri in the same temple."

„ I don't know if I could handle that!" And that was the truth. This was not what a jedi would say, but this was what a boy would say. Qui-Gon knew that.

„ I promise you that I'm always there for you, if you need me. We fight the same fight, Obi-Wan. We both lost the person whe loved, but could you live when you lose a second person, you love?"

Obi-Wan looked at him questioningly.

„ If you would leave the jedi, I would lost you and that would be the worst, my dear student!"

Now Obi-Wan realized the consequenzes if he would leave the jedi. He would lost Qui-Gon, his master and the only father he knew. Would he be able to live with that pain? Maybe it was easier to live without Siri, a person heloved for some months, instead of Qui-Gon, the person he loved for years. He couldn't compare the love for Siri and Qui-Gon, but he had to agree with his master. Siri would always stay in his heart, but for him it was more important to have a caregiver, instead of a lover.

Without a word, he turned around and wrapped his arms around Qui-Gon. Qui-Gon hesitated, surpised from his student's behavior, but rested his hands on Obi-Wans back and closed his eyes.

Obi-Wan enjoyed the comfort of his master and he knew that they would handle this together. With Siri in his mind and Qui-Gon in his arms, he closed his eyes and accepted his destiny.


	5. Chapter 5

This oneshot Plays after the events of Attack of the Clones, after the Mission of Siri and Obi-Wan, when Siri gots killed.

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The sky changed from blue to blood-red. The evening lasted long and the sun disappeared slowly behind the skyscrapers of Coruscant. Even when the sun disappeared, the city of Coruscant still shone bright, because of its far-reaching nightlife. Lots of bars and restaurants opened at the evening and many politicians and other important people went into the theatre or the opera. You could say that the nightlife in Coruscant was more active than the daily life. You could met different species from different planets, perhaps persons you would never see during the day. Thieves, bounty hunters and smugglers went through the streets.

The bright window gave him an optimal view over this part of the city. The so called main part with the senate and the building, where he lives. The Jedi-Temple. He sat on his bed and stared on the streets, but without looking for something important. He only sat there and watched. He eliminated his thoughts, they came every second through his mind, but he didn't wanted to hear them. He ignored the feeling in his heart and his hurting head. It was normal that he felt such feelings. He was alive. He had to remember were he was and for what reason he lived. In that moment it was to difficult to stay alive.

His name was Obi-Wan Kenobi and he was a Jedi. He lost his Master years before, he trained his Padawan Anakin Skywalker and he lost the love of his life today.

He talked to her this morning about his plans. They were on a mission, together with senator Padme Amidala and his Padawan. Within a chase of Siri and Magus, the ship in which both fought, crashed against a wall and were destroyed. Obi-Wan could rescue Siris body from the debris. She was still alive, but to weak to live longer than some minutes. She spent her last minutes with Obi-Wan, who held her in his arms. He didn't cry….for her. He didn't wanted her to die with the knowing that he could not live with that. He held her hand and listened to her, when she declaired him his truly love and that she regretted it that they wanted to be friends. She gave him her warming crystal, closed her eyes and died.

After that, Obi-Wan only could remember everything through a kind of liquid wall around his view. His vision was foggy and without any emotion. He could barely remember Anakin, who found them some minutes later. He tried to talk to Obi-Wan, but his Master didn't heard him. He only remembered Siris peaceful face and her weak body in his arms, when he lifter her up and carried the body to his ship. He ignored every person in his surrounding. Not only during the trip back, also on the ship to Coruscant and his way to his chambers. Anakin was old enough to deal with himself.

Obi-Wan brought her body to the Med-Center and went strictly to the council to give his mission report. Master Yoda and Mace Windu were shocked and weren't able to talk for a long time. But both had different reasons for their silence. Mace Windu because of his regret and Master Yoda, because he understood the situation. He knew Obi-Wans feelings from the past and he also knew that this feelings were still alive in his heart.

When he left the Council chambers, he went strictly into his chambers. He didn't wanted to met Anakin and he didn't wanted to talk to him. He wanted to be alone.

This happened hours ago and he still sat on his bed and watched the skyline of Coruscant. He hadn't heard anything from Anakin or another Jedi-Master and he was grateful for that. But he realized that his silence lasted long enough. His Padawan sat alone in his room and didn't knew with which problem Obi-Wan had to deal with. And he knew that he must talk with him about this.

He remembered the same situation with Qui-Gon after Tahls death. Qui-Gon haven't talked with him for days and he knew how overhelmed he was with the situation, alone without his Master.

He stood up and left his room to visit Anakin. The door was open, when he reached his students chambers. Anakin sat on his bed and built his model of a space ship.

When Obi-Wan entered the room, he lifted his head and looked at him surprisingly. " Master?!"

" Sorry for leaving you alone the last hours!" Obi-Wan hated it to talk around the problem. He always started a conversation with the main point.

" It was ok" replied Anakin. " You lost one of your friends!"

" I not only lost one of my friends" said Obi-Wan and sat down next to him. " I lost my best friend. I knew her since my childhood and we were always good friends. Maybe not from the beginning, but our friendship grew with us. I could talk to her everytime and about everything I wanted. The knowledge that I lost her, didn't came to my mind. Now I realized it and I also realized that there are important people in my life, who are still alive and not dead."

" I didn't knew that she was so important for you..."murmured Anakin and watched him carefully.

" She was really important for me. She was always the second person right after Qui-Gon and after Qui-Gons dead my second responsibility after you."

" Did you love her?" asked Anakin without hesitation.

Obi-Wan sighed. " Yes, I loved her. I haven't told it anyone, instead of Qui-Gon and Master Yoda!"

" Qui-Gon knew about it?" asked Anakin surprised. " He allowed it to you?"

" He didn't allowed it" replied Obi-Wan calmly. " he accepted it, but he talked with me about it. He said that it would be my decision. Neither I leave the Jedi with Siri or stay with the Jedi and ignore my love for her. We had chosen the second way."

Anakin bowed his head and seemed to think about something.

" Qui-Gon was a kind Jedi-Master, but also a strict one" added Obi-Wan.

Anakin nodded. " I understamd what you're feeling and I understand your situation."

Obi-Wan rested a hand on Anakins shoulder. " Thank you, my young Padawan. May I leave you for the night. I'll see you tomorrow at breakfast."

" What kind of training will we do tomorrow?" asked Anakin.

" None. You can do whatever you want with the rest of the following day."

The last thing he could see, was the bright smile of Anakin, when he left the room. He went back to his own chambers and layed down on the bed.

 _Siri, my dear love. I'll always remember you. You and your lovely nature. I'm glad that I met you and that I shared some years of my life with you. You were the sunshine during the day. I doesn't matter, how hard it will be, but I can't end my life like this. I'll deal with the pain for the person, who are still alive. For Anakin and my other friends, but also for the people, who are dead. Qui-Gon and you! Your my only motivation during this time. Now, Anakin is still my first responisbility and I have to live for him. I have to fight for him. But I'll also fight for you. My dear Siri! I'll miss you! Forever!_


	6. Chapter 6

I put this scene after the events on Kegan from book nine of the Jedi-Padawan books by Jude Watson. It was the first mission of Obi-Wan and Siri and I wanted to represent their possible feelings after this mission.

If you like the story or you want to give me some advices, please write a review :)

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Obi-Wan had a look on his datapad and completed his task. His Master gave him this task to improve his theoretical skills on the knowledge of the galaxy and its planets. They were on the way back from Kegan after a straining mission. Master Yoda sent them together with another Master-Padawan-Team to this planet to get a force-sensitive child to the Jedi-Temple. He surprised them during a training session with their lightsabers. He had trained with Siri together.

She, of all people. Siri hated him after he left the Jedi and lived on Melida/Daan to aid the Young in their quest. He regretted his decision and returned to the Jedi temple. But Qui-Gon needed time to accept him as his padawan for the second time. Now time passed and they completed their first mission together after this event. He forgave him, but Siri didn't. She was really angry at him that he left the Jedi and judged him for his behavior. At the beginning of the mission, he felt uncomfortable to work with her together. He believed in his Master to help him, but badly they were separated from their students. Obi-Wan and Siri were catched and stuck in the educational building, or how Siri called it "educational prison". The teachers were strict and every student were punished, if he didn't act according to their imagination. Obi-Wan and Siri needed to work together to escape from this building and find their Masters.

Now they were still on the way back for two hours, but they didn't shared a word during this time. Qui-Gon carried the child on his arms and slept next to Obi-Wan. Adi managed the ship controls silently and Siri had left the room one hour before.

Obi-Wan took the datapad aside and closed his eyes. He needed to meditate about this mission, but he decided that it would be enough to only think about it. But he didn't thought about the course of the mission, but about his relationship to Siri. What did she thought about him now? He helped her a lot of time and proved that he was a good friend. He don't wanted them to be best friends, but if he could, he would eliminate her prejudices of him.

To clarify this question of what she thought about him, he needed to clarify the question what he thought about her. But what was his opinion about her?

Of course, she was an excellent fighter and her lightsaber skills were much better than of some students in Obi-Wans age. Obi-Wan was a little bit older than Siri, but she trained together with him and his friends. Before his leaving, she spent a lot of time with Bruck Chun, Obi-Wans so called enemy. Jedi weren't allowed to have enemies, but Bruck hated Obi-Wan. And for that case, Siri avoided Obi-Wan too. But now, Bruck were dead! Obi-Wan had tried to rescue him, but he was too late. Siri was now alone without her former friends and Obi-Wan wanted to ask her to join his friends.

He stop the direction of his thoughts. The question was still unanswered. Siri had more abilities than her fighting skills, but he didn't spent enough time with her to know her perfectly. He knew that she was totally stubborn. During the mission, she couldn't accept Obi-Wans opinions and only stopped her actions, when she noticed that she would fail. That was the second point: she didn't wanted to see her mistakes. In her opinion, she was always right and in the case she wasn't, she turned silent. This kind of behavior had surprised Obi-Wan. To see that Siri was vulnerable was beyond his imagination, but Siri was only a human like him.

The third point was, that she was a fast and complex thinker. When Obi-Wan offered a problem, she swiftly found a solution. Obi-Wan needed much longer to think about it, but only because he tried to avoid mistakes.

Patience was not her best ability. She turned restless extremly fast and Obi-Wan needed to calm her down.

He suppressed a laughter. It seemed that she was quite the opposite in her behavior than Obi-Wan. His issues were her successes and opposite. Only because of that fact they were able to work together.

In conclusion he could say that he admired her for her nature.

" Obi-Wan, please rise your shields, if you continue thinking like that" murmured his Master Qui-Gon. Obi-Wan startled and opened his eyes abruptly, but his Master still sat next to him with closed eyes. A stranger wuld think that he was still asleep, but Obi-Wan knew him better.

" Your thoughts fly like a space ship with light speed. I can't concentrate on my own thoughts!"

" I'm sorry, Master" replied Obi-Wan and tried to calm his mind.

Qui-Gon sighed. " I didn't meant to stop thinking, but if you need someone to talk about it...you know that I wil listen to you."

" Thank you, Master" said the Padawan. " I only thought about the last mission and my quest on Melida/Daan."

" Ok and to what conclusion came you?"

" That I'm ashamed of my behavior and I regret my decision..."

" We talked about that, Obi-Wan" replied Qui-Gon. " And I forgave you. Now it's your turn to forgive yourself."

" But how can I forgive myself, when others still judge me for my behavior?"

" Are you talking about a specific person?"

" Yes" murmured Obi-Wan, but didn't say the name, because of Adi Gallia in front of them.

Now Qui-Gon opened one eye and focused his student. " Don't bother yourself. You need to talk with that person to know what the person is thinking."

A voice in Obi-Wans head told him that Qui-Gon already knew the person, who challenged Obi-Wans thoughts.

Obi-Wan opened his mouth to reply, but at that moment the door opened and Siri entered the room. She observed the room and stopped at Obi-Wan. " Can we talk?"

Obi-Wan didn't know how to react. He wanted to say something, but he stayed silent. When he realized that the break lasted too long, he sensed a light wave of reassurance from his Master and he felt a big hand, which softly pushed him forwards. Obi-Wan stood up and followed Siri in another room. Without speaking, she sat down on a chair and waited for him to sit down. Obi-Wan gave het time to collect her thoughts.

" Obi-Wan", she began unsure. " I only want to say you that I'm sorry for my bad behavoir against you!"

Obi-Wan opened his mouth, but Siri interrupted him. " Please, let me continue. I judged you too fast and I realized it. You're really friendly to me and that despite my behavior. And please don't believe that Adi gave me the advice to talk to you. I only want you to forgive me and I want to say that I forgive you for your leaving."

" Thank you, Siri" replied Obi-Wan. " But I understood your reaction. I couldn't forgive myself for my behavior. Qui-Gon was the only person, who forgave me..."

" That's not true. Every Jedi-Master forgave you. Master Yoda was never angry at you and Master Windu is Master Windu… You know him."

" I still can not believe what I did to Qui-Gon and how he had felt when I left him" said Obi-Wan.

" But he realized that it was also his fault..."

" In which way? I forced him to choose me or his best friend Tahl!"

" You chose feeling over mission. It was his task to help them like you did..."

" No it was not" murmured Obi-Wan regretful. " Our mission was to rescue Tahl and nothing else."

" I think it's unfair that he chose Tahl over you,Obi-Wan" said Siri honestly. " When I imagine that Adi would do this..." She shook her head.

" It's over now, but I'm still not convinced that Qui-Gon forgave me completely."

" Talk to him" instructed Siri and smiled. " I only want that we're friends, Obi-Wan. I never met a more friendly boy than you."

Obi-Wan laughed softly. " Thank you! I would be glad to be your friend!"

" Bruck is dead. I have nobody to spent time with" sighed Siri.

" You have me" said Obi-Wan. " I can imagine that my friends would be happy to introduce you in our group."

" Really?"

" Of course. Bant is really friendly and Garen is much more crazy than me. Reeft is more interested in food than his friends." He continued laughing.

" That sounds nice" replied Siri and thought about this suggestion.

" Think about it" said Obi-Wan and stood up. " I thank you that you apologized for your behavior and that you forgave me."

" Not a problem, Obi-Wan" said Siri and wrapped his arms around him. Obi-Wan looked surprised, but hugged her too. It felt strange to hug a girl, who was not his best friend Bant.

" Let's go back to our Masters" murmured Siri and released him.

" Before they think that we killed each other" laughed Obi-Wan and followed her into the cockpit.

Adi had left the pilot seat and hold the baby in his arms. She smiled when Obi_Wan and Siri entered the room.

" In some years she will be as old as you", she said. " Then she maybe will have a Master too."

" Hopefully" said Obi-Wan and sat down next to Qui-Gon.

" You were also brought to Coruscant as a baby" added Qui-Gon teasingly.

" I know, I know, but I don't want to talk about it, please!"

Siri started laughing and Adi joined her. " We'll reach Coruscant in some hours!"

" Good" said Qui-Gon. " Enough time for Obi-Wan to finish his tasks."

" Oh no" moaned Obi-Wan and smiled at his new friend Siri.

This would be a long task!


	7. Chapter 7

Siris PoV in dependency to chapter 4

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Siri ran out of the Room of the Thousand Fountains and choose the way to her room. She didn't stop, even if someone called after her. She needed to be alone. Nobody should see her like this. Nobody should see her cry. It was enough that Obi-Wan saw her tears and he should be the only one, who saw it.

The other students knew her as a tough young girl. A person, who never cried and who fought in a saber class for two years older students. Everyone respected her only for her cold nature and her emotionless behavior.

That was her image for the last years. Now she discovered that she was able to feel something and that it was the best feeling she ever had. And she shared her feelings with Obi-Wan. The person, she loved.

She didn't knew how long she loved him but she did and he loved her as well. Nothing could be better in her life.

But her love told her some minutes before that they should ignore their feelings for each other.

Siri ignored the confused gazes of the other padawans, when she opened her door impatiently and entered her room. When the door closed behind her, she threw herself on her bed and pressed the pillow against her face. The tears came out without hesitation and she cried her soul out of her body. The pillow dampened her noises. Siri was grateful for that because she didn't want to disturb her Master.

Adi didn't know something about her feeling. Only Qui-Gon knew and she was sure that the Jedi-Master wouldn't talk to her Master without her agreement. He respected her and Siri was aware of that. Usually, she liked Qui-Gon quite well but at that moment, she hated him very much. Qui-Gon was the person, who persuaded his Padawan to regret his feelings.

She saw the pain in Obi-Wans eyes when he spoke to her. She realized how much it tortured him to tell her. It wasn't his own decision but he wasn't strong enough to decide without his Masters advice. But not only Qui-Gon, also Master Yoda spoke to Obi-Wan and explained him the consequences of their feelings.

Suddenly, Siri felt much compassion for Obi-Wan because she let him alone with his Master and Master Yoda. She should have been with him and support him against the Masters but now she wasn't sure if should would have been able to fight against the arguments of the Masters. Siri threatened Obi-Wan for a long time when he left the Jedi and some days before, she thought about it by herself. But did she really thought about it. Maybe, she was convinced that there would be another way or that the Council would change the rules for them. How foolish she was! The Jedi-Council would never change their rules for a simple pair with feelings for each other. They had their reasons for this rule and t forbid love. Siri learned it from the beginning of her life in the Jedi-Temple but she never imagined that she would think about it in that case. In the case of love. And she loved Obi-Wan. She also knew that she would love him for a long time but she also knew that it was not right.

She needed to accept the decision of Master Yoda because she loved the Jedi and she loved her life. She could imagine that she could live with Obi-Wan alone but not for a long time. They both would regret it after some years or already after some months.

She would love to talk with someone about her feelings. But there weren't someone she could talk to.

Her Master Adi Gallia would never understand her feelings as well as Qui-Gon. Qui-Gon already persuaded Obi-Wan and she knew that he would do the same with her.

Now, her thoughts turned to Obi-Wan. She turned her body around and faced the ceiling thoughtfully. What was Obi-Wan doing now? Did he cried as well or was he with his Master? Obi-Wan never was a boy who regretted his feelings. He was similar to her because he always tried to hide his feelings but if he couldn't hide them, he accepted them and was able to talk about it. He already talked about it with her, when Qui-Gon was catched by a bounty hunter. So she could imagine that he was sad as well. Maybe he talked about it with his Master and no matter how much she would like it to do the same, she couldn't do it.

The pain in her heart was to intensive and she needed a decision to avoid this pain. She needed to return to her old behavior. For that she needed to keep distance to Obi-Wan.

She closed her eyes and wiped the pain away. The imagination of herself, never talking to Obi-Wan again and never enjoy his presence anymore. But for her it was the best decisionand she was convinced that it was also the best decision for him. Distance was important to ignore their feelings and they couldn't ignore them if the other would be around. She would return to her old friends and live her life without thinking about him.

Suddenly, somebody knocked on the door. She stood up and opened it, surprised to see her Master in front of her.

" Master?" she asked. " Did something happen?"

Adi Gallia entered her room. " Qui-Gon came to me and told me that you had a little discussion with Obi-Wan about something. He didn't wanted to interfere but he was worried about his student. Obi-Wan seems to be very sad about the end of your discussion and he asked me to ask you if you ever be able to forgive him?"

Siri was shocked. Adi never was a person to talk about feelings and she could feel that Adi wasn't happy about that situation but she liked Obi-Wan and she would do anything for him. Even if she must ask her own student about her feelings. At the same time she felt the love in her heart when she realized that Obi-Wan was sad as well and regretted the course of their discussion. He cared for her and didn't wanted her to ignore him. Siri was flattered but when she felt the pain rising in her chest, she lifted her head and faced her Master.

" Please tell him that I need some time to think about it. Maybe I'm able to talk to him in some months but I can't now!"

She hoped that Adi wouldn't ask here what happened and she was grateful when Adi just nodded and left the room. Siri sighed and sat down on her bed.

She realized that she could not ignore him over some years but she needed time. Maybe if he gave her this time, she would continue talking to him. But Siri wasn't able to see the future.


	8. Writer's comment

I think I'm done with that little stories because I have no more ideas of situations with Obi-Wan and Siri. I changed the story to complete but if you have any idea of a scene that I should write down, please contact me and I will update a new chapter :D

Nevertheless, I'm very happy with that stories and I hope you enjoyed it too because I think there could be more stories about Obi-Wan and Siri.

I say bye for now with Obi-Wan and Siri but you can also read my other fanfictions about Star Wars if you are interested in that topics.

Thank you so much for reading it and the support of some readers :)


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